From tag sales to Marshall’s—her favorite store—Gov. M. Jodi Rell unveiled her Christmas Gift List Monday morning at the Middlesex Chamber of Commerce breakfast. And while she’s often thought of as “grandmotherly” this list is not for the faint of heart.

“For Senator Chris Dodd: One of my old scarves to cover up the big bull’s-eye on the Senator’s back.

For Senator Joe Lieberman: From my collection of old movies.  The old James Mason classic: “Odd Man Out.”

For Coach Jim “Crash” Calhoun: We found a suit of armor – with extra padding – from the basement of the Connecticut Historical Society.  He will probably need it for his next charity bike ride.

For Coach Randy Edsall: Something salvaged from a Notre Dame game program – a framed photo of Touchdown Jesus with the inscription, “It was no Miracle, you kicked our Irish butts.”

And for Coach Geno Auriemma: A refurbished recliner from the Salvation Army … This way he can relax at courtside and not break a sweat, just like the defending champs, who are cruising past opponents.

For Linda McMahon and Rob Simmons: From the DOT surplus lot, I picked up some chain link fence for their upcoming cage match …. Let’s keep it clean – no eye-gouging and no hitting below the belt.

For UConn President Mike Hogan and UConn Board of Trustees Chair Larry McHugh: A brand new hospital – oh, but this new hospital is made entirely of Connecticut’s own Legos … Sorry guys, that’s all we can afford!

For our esteemed Attorney General Dick Blumenthal: I have some old photos of the two of us through the years that I wanted to give to Dick …. the problem is, these photos are all a little overexposed – but then I realized, hey, this is Dick Blumenthal we’re talking about, and he’s never worried about overexposure!

From Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun, we were able to pick up well over 100 old decks of cards.  So, knowing that Democrats in our state House of Representatives really like to play Solitaire during floor debates, this is my gift to each of them.  Enjoy!

For the majority party in the Legislature, particularly the leadership: Toys R Us was having a sale on board games and I found just the thing for them … I almost bought them Monopoly, but then I found something they could really use instead – Clue.

Just a side note while I am on that topic: As you may know, the Democrats passed a budget in which they asked me to find millions of dollars in savings by selling off surplus state property.  In other words, we are selling off state property that is not used any more.  With that in mind, I have just put the state’s Legislative Office Building in Hartford up for sale.  It’s big, it’s beautiful, and I can tell you: there’s nothing going on in there.

For Lt. Governor Mike Fedele and Secretary of the State Susan Bysiewicz – a couple of tape measures from one of Lou’s old toolboxes in Brookfield …. They’ve both been sizing up the drapes in my office for a while now.

For the rest of the gubernatorial candidates – whether they are declared, undeclared, exploring, spelunking – whatever – a boxful of my old high heels …good luck filling them.”

Read Rell’s remarks in full.